Baby Joy
by vani12
Summary: Summer of 1996. Nymphadora Tonks longs to be a mum. But due to her single life, the brewing war with Lord Voldemort and the rising death toll in the Order, she can't wait to settle down with the man of her life in peaceful times. Hence, she undergoes in-vitro fertilization and gets pregnant with twins. How will she react to the news that her sperm donor is her ex-Potions Professor?
1. Prologue – Dreams can come true!

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _thanks for taking the time to read my new story. This story bunny wouldn't leave my mind for some days now, so I have decided to give it a try and write a fanfiction about it. I love to read Tonks x Severus stories and I like the possibilities non-canon stories offer to fanfiction writers. I hope that you will like my story outline. As I'm a non-native English speaker, constructive criticism regarding my grammar and/or spelling mistakes or my writing style is always appreciated. I try to improve my writing skills due to writing stories, so everything will be helpful. Therefore, just leave me a review or PM with some pointers of what I should improve. Positive reviews or PMs are naturally also appreciated ;-). As this is a "work-in-progress" and I post right after writing a chapter, I don't know where this story idea takes me and when I will finish it. Hence, any suggestions for my plot, character development or writing topics are greatly appreciated. If you come up with something, please leave me a review or PM._

 _I will try to post new chapters weekly, although I'm currently quite busy with my other three stories. I guess it would have been more intelligent of me to finish them first, but this plot bunny somehow wouldn't leave me alone. Sorry ;)._

 _This story is rated M because it contains adult language, themes, and suggestions. It is non-canon and plays in the Golden Trios Hogwarts time, especially in Book 6 and 7 and will orientate itself on some canon plotlines._

 _I don't own any characters, they all belong to J.K. Rowling._

 _Have a nice Sunday and a Merry Christmas,_

 _Vani12_

 **Prologue – Dreams can come true!**

 _ **Fertility Clinic, London, August 1996**_

Nymphadora Tonks chewed nervously on her neon-pink nails, looking around anxiously in the white surgery. She lounged in the comfortable dark-grey leather armchair, faced the bright oak shelf with tomes on Healing Spells, Fertility Potions, Fertility Enchantments, and Magical Pregnancies and tried to focus her gaze on the adorable pictures of newborn babies. Her usually bubblegum-pink hair was muted into a normal dark red and her knees shook in anticipation. _"Don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. Your magical in-vitro fertilization worked. You are pregnant now and will be welcoming a beautiful baby in nine months. Your dreams will come true,"_ a hopeful voice encouraged her in her mind. _"Don't kid yourself, Nymphadora. It didn't work. All your Fertility Charms, hormone therapy, and balanced diet were for naught. You will never be a mum,"_ an evilly-giggling voice taunted her in her thoughts.

Tonks tried to stay positive. _"I feel different. My magical signature feels slightly off. I must be pregnant,"_ she tried to reason with herself. Three months ago, she had decided to undergo in-vitro fertilization in a specialized magical St. Mungo's institute. The magical community had opened up to Muggle sciences a decade ago, and especially their methods to enable couples with fertility issues or infertile couples to welcome children into their lives were in high demand, for many pure-blooded couples couldn't conceive healthy and magically powerful babies without the help of science. Their genes were too inbred so that the sperm quality of some men was bad or some women weren't able to produce fertile eggs. The biggest issue was that many pure-blooded wives couldn't carry their fetuses to term and suffered physically and emotionally painful miscarriages. The birthing rate was dropping down rapidly, and if the fertility issues and infertility in the magical community would continue at this rate, their community would slowly die out.

Thence, gynecologists at St. Mungo's had researched methods of how to combine Muggle sciences with magical sciences to increase the chances of healthy magical offsprings. One result of this inter-science cooperation was the foundation of the St. Mungo's Fertility Clinic that offered in-vitro fertilization, hormone therapy, Fertility Charms and Potions, and even surrogacy. Naturally, it had been a long fight to establish this clinic, for many witches and wizards distrusted Muggle sciences and regarded it as "unnatural" to get pregnant on a scientific way. Merlin, surrogacy was still a frowned-upon topic, for all witches and wizards knew that the fetus shared a magical blood system with his surrogate. Hence, although the egg might be extracted from its genetically mum and inseminated with the sperm of her husband, the fetus shared some magical traits with his surrogate mum. Sure, the newborn baby was genetically the child of the egg cell donor and the sperm cell donor, but it still formed a close magically bond with its surrogate.

Another frowned-upon topic was the in-vitro fertilization with anonymous sperm cells and egg cells, for the wizarding community was fiercely protective of their bloodlines and heritage. Hence, a child who didn't know their biological parents was a huge issue. Therefore, the Wizengamot ruled that every sperm or egg donor had to disclose their personal information on a sheet that would be revealed to their children if they wanted to know about their roots at seventeen. Naturally, they wouldn't have a right to inherit anything from their biological parents, but they could try to establish a relationship with them. Many married couples bypassed this issue by blood-adopting their newborn babies regardless of their genetic heritage. Thence, they were acknowledged as their heirs and heiresses and even shared some physical traits with them. Although this blood ritual was considered to be dark magic and potentially risky for the health of the newborns, many couples took the risk to guarantee that their child was a true member of their bloodline.

Tonks scoffed loudly. _"Count on the pure-bloods to risk the health of their newborn child to pass their bloodline on. Merlin, they are really some first-class bigoted fools who are obsessed with blood-purity. Naturally, a pure-blooded married couple only chose eggs or sperm from a pure-blood and only trusted a pure-blooded witch to birth their child. This whole talk about "toujours pur" really pisses me off,"_ she thought enraged. _"Sure, I have also selected my sperm donation based on certain criteria but I have focused on securing a close match between his magical energies and mine, for matching magical energies increases the chances for a healthy fetus and reduces the risk of miscarriages. According to my gynecologist, matching magical energies often exist between Half-bloods, Pure-bloods and Muggle-borns and Half-bloods and Muggle-borns. Hence, selecting a pure-blood sperm donation could possibly damage your fetus' health. But most Pure-bloods seem to trust in the effectiveness of the Prenatal Potions, Protection Spells and Baby-Monitoring Charms. Hell, they mostly really are some crazy racists."_

Tonks looked at the baby pictures to calm herself. She had always wanted to be a mum and dreamed of a happy marriage, three cute babies and a nice home. Naturally, she had originally planned to meet the man of her dreams, marry him after a whirlwind romance and welcome some children into their lives in her thirties, for she wanted to establish her career as an Auror first, make some money and experience magical adventures around the world before she settled down. But Lord Voldemort's return, the building war and the rising death toll of her close friends and family changed everything. Naturally, she knew that she was needed as an Auror in the fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters and that pregnancy would interfere with her work for the Order and her Auror duties but she wanted to become a mum before it was too late.

Some of her friends had scolded her for her selfishness and reckless actions, for you shouldn't bring children into a world of war, death, and darkness in their opinion. Her close female friend Xenia Green had even called her a self-obsessed lunatic, for she wouldn't be able to juggle the duties of a single mum, Auror, and Order of the Phoenix member. Her mum, Andromeda Black Tonks, had argued with her to postpone her pregnancy for two years because they would have surely won the war till then, survived it and lived in a magical world of peace, happiness, and hopes. But Tonks had whipped away their doubts and argued that she felt deep inside her bones that this year was the last chance for her to become a mum before everything only went darker. Thankfully, her best female friend Adrienne Fairchild understood her decision and vowed to support her in her pregnancy and as a single mum. Merlin, even her parents had vowed to babysit her toddler and support her financially.

Although she knew that her dad, Ted Tonks, had been the driving force behind their declaration of support, she was grateful for their help. For she knew that baby clothes, supplies and toys were extremely expensive and that she couldn't quit her work as an Auror. Sure, she would have to reduce her workload during her pregnancy and thereafter, for she wanted to be a hands-on mum, but she couldn't imagine quitting her Auror duties entirely. She would have to work in office duty and reduce her dangerous field trips, but she aimed to work half-time again six months after the birth of her child. Hell, she knew that Alastor Moody would call her out for her selfish actions and ban her to office duty during her whole pregnancy, but she couldn't sacrifice her dreams to this hellish war.

Merlin, she knew that she was fairly young with twenty-three years and that people in the Order would undoubtedly judge her negatively for her decision to get pregnant by a stranger and raise a child alone in war times, but she longed to be a mum above everything. Sure, she would have to make a testament right after the birth of her child, citing her parents and her best female friend Adrienne Fairchild as the guardians of them and passing her whole possessions on to them, but Tonks couldn't wait to experience unconditional love and nurture a tiny little being into a brilliant adorable toddler. Naturally, she realized that her life as a single mum would be hard, especially considering the rising power of Voldemort and his followers. She could possibly die and leave an orphan behind. Thence, she vowed to keep herself out of dangerous situations, foolish reckless actions, and unorganized attack plans. She could help the Order to win this war by spying on Death Eaters in different disguises thanks to her Metamorphogus' abilities, by developing defense strategies and attack plans thanks to her Auror training and by inventing spells to break security wards without setting off an alarm thanks to her supreme Charms skills.

She could still be a useful asset to the Order as a pregnant woman. Besides that, during the First War, many female Order members had been pregnant and fought on the sidelines. Sure, they had mostly had the support of a loving husband during their pregnancy and baby duty years, but she was a strong woman and could handle her Auror duties, a baby and her Order work. She wasn't all alone, for she had the support of her parents and friends.

Two and a half months ago, she had started with her hormone therapy, balanced diet, and Fertility Potions. Her first check-up with her gynecologist, Dr. Helena Rosenstein, had shown that she was a healthy woman who should have no problems to conceive and birth healthy children. But she needed to take some Fertility Potions to heighten her chances for a fast easy-going pregnancy and up her diet to battle her vitamin and iron deficiency.

Two months ago, she had selected her sperm donor, for she was currently single, not into one-night stands and didn't want to burden some man with an unwanted child. She hadn't any romantic love-interests at the moment and decided to use the St. Mungo's sperm bank to become a mum. The sperm bank had been founded a decade ago, used an anonymous sperm donor index and guaranteed to only use high-quality sperm and the newest scientific methods. There sperm donor index was a magically organized register that included sperm from Pure-bloods, Half-bloods and Muggle-borns aged 18 to 50. Although it was anonymous, it gave away basic personal information like physical traits, age, profession, and hobbies. And it also needed to hand out an identity verifying sheet that disclosed the identity of the sperm donor to his children, if they wanted to get to know him at seventeen. The donors could also decide how often their sperm could be used and if they wanted to be informed of a successful in-vitro fertilization and birth.

They were categorized according to the dominant element in their magical signature. All magical cores were composed by a unique mix of the four magical energies air, water, fire, and aether. According to their highest percentages, all witches and wizards were categorized as "Air magicians", "Water magicians", "Fire magicians" or "Aether magicians". A closely matching magical signature between the sexes was considered to secure healthy and magically powerful children. Thence, the fertility clinic scanned the magical signature of their female patients and tried to find an optimal match for them in their sperm bank. A list with four "best matches" was magically produced in every selection process. It ranked the donors according to their matching magical energies.

Dr. Rosenstein had presented Tonks with her own list of best-suited sperm donors two months ago. Her magical core was composed to 60% of fire, 20% of aether, 15% of air and 5% of water. She had decided to select her perfect match, for she wanted to increase the chances of a healthy child. Thence, she didn't select her baby's biological dad according to his physical traits, blood status or profession. She had only considered to select him based on his physical traits, profession, and hobbies if two possible donors had a tie according to their magical compatibility with her. Luckily for her, her case was pretty distinct because her best-suited sperm donor had a 90% compatibility with her magical energies whereas the other three were only a 70%, 60%, and 50% match. Hence, Tonks selected sperm donor 5799. His information sheet disclosed that he was a dark-haired brown-eyed pale Half-blood in his thirties who worked in the education sector, loved Muggle English literature and sketching and was interested in Potions, Spellcrafting, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. He only permitted the sperm bank to use his sperm for one successful in-vitro fertilization and birth and wanted to be informed about the birth of his child.

Three weeks ago, Dr. Rosenstein had extracted four egg cells from her, mixed them with the conditioned seminal fluid of donor 5799 in a nutritive fluid and put them in an incubator. She selected three fertilized egg cells under the microscope, grew them in an incubator for four days and inserted two embryos into her uterus. Today, roughly two weeks after the transfer, she would find out if she was pregnant. And thanks to her Virtual-Ultrasound Spell, Dr. Rosenstein would even be able to detect how many fetuses she carried.

Tonks thoughts were interrupted by the tall blonde blue-eyed Dr. Rosenstein who walked with an encouraging smile into her surgery. "Good morning, Miss Tonks. I hope that you are feeling well. Have you experienced any complaints or spotting after our procedure? Or is there anything else wrong?" She asked in a friendly voice, looking into her indigo eyes and studying her patient records with one eye. Tonks returned her smile and answered, "Good morning to you too, Dr. Rosenstein. I haven't had any physical complaints after my procedure, although I must confess that my Metamorphogus abilities seem slightly different. I can't change my hairs into my signature bubblegum-pink, only in a more muted dark red. Do you think that this is a positive sign?" She questioned with a hopeful sparkle in her eyes.

Dr. Rosenstein beamed at her and exclaimed in an optimistic-sounding voice. "It could very well be a first sign for the early stages of pregnancy. Although magical pregnancies of Metamorphoguses are very rare and I haven't had a Metamorphogus patient before, I have studied some tomes about the effects of pregnancies on metamorphogic abilities and learned that they can clog them to some degree. You won't be able to change your hair and eye color as well as facial features into extremes during your pregnancy. And after your second trimester, you should stop your changing altogether, for it could possibly affect the fetus negatively or initiate a premature birth. I will hand you out a brochure about Metamorphogus pregnancies later on if you are indeed pregnant. But let's check this out first." She motioned for Tonks to step up from her armchair and to lie down on her examination table.

Tonks took a deep breath, jumped up from her armchair and lounged herself on the examination table with a tense knot inside of her stomach. _"The next few minutes could change my life forever. I hope that my dream will come true and I'm an expectant mum,"_ she thought in an emotional tone. Dr. Rosenstein waved her wand above her abdomen and uttered the Visual-Ultrasound Spell. A huge ultrasound picture of her uterus appeared above them. Tonks couldn't discern anything, but Dr. Rosenstein zoomed in on her uterus, encircled two tiny spots with her wand and beamed at her. "Congratulations, Miss Tonks. You are pregnant. The two encircled little blisters are your two fetuses. You are expecting twins. You can't hear their heartbeats today, but you will be able to hear them on your next appointment."

Tonks didn't hear her next words, for she was too overwhelmed by her emotions. She shed some happy tears and caressed her abdomen softly. _"It worked, I'm really pregnant. I'm so happy. Although twins will be double trouble, I vow to love you unconditionally. You are going to be two adorable happy munchkins. Thank you Muggle sciences. Thank you sperm donor 5799. I'm going to be a mum in nine months,"_ she thought touched. Sometimes dreams could really come true.


	2. 1 - Sometimes life can be hell!

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _a new update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. It really means a lot to me and keeps me motivated to update faster ;)._

 _Have a nice Christmas,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 1 – Sometimes life can be hell!**

 _ **Severus Snape's house, Spinner's End/Cokeworth, August 1996**_

Severus Snape downed a tumbler of his finest Firewhiskey to calm his enraged mood. He wanted to numb his sorrows and escape his hellish life. The burning on his throat lessened his rage somewhat, but his obsidian eyes were still sparkling with despair. _"I guess a visit of the crazy lunatic Bellatrix Black Lestrange would tick off everyone. Especially since I loathe her sadistic nature and her obsessive worship of the Dark Lord. Her insane cackling could drive the calmest man insane and her paranoia bothers me. In my case, her suspicious nature is a constant threat to my life. I thank Merlin for my superior acting skills and Occlumency shields, or I would have been dead a long time ago. Luckily for me, Bellatrix hasn't the trust of the Dark Lord, for he trusts no one. And I could shut her up with my Unbreakable Vow to Narcissa,"_ he thought laughing miserably.

" _How stupid could I be to fall into Bellatrix' trap? Naturally, I knew that I had to play along to distract her suspicions, for she would have undoubtedly stalked me otherwise. The last thing I currently need is a bat-shit crazy Black witch on my heels. And I would do anything to protect my godson Draco, for I love him like my own son and know that he won't be able to kill Dumbledore. He is too good-hearted and smart to damage his soul beyond repair. I owe it to Narcissa to help her son because she is my closest female friend and helped me out of a dark place after Lily's death. Hell, she rescued me from killing myself with poison, helped me to heal in long therapy sessions and even set me up with some of her female friends to let me experience some happy moments._

" _Although I never truly loved anyone of her female friends, for I couldn't be distracted from my spy work and fight for Dumbledore by romance, I enjoyed casual sex affairs with them and could forget my miserable existence for some hours. I actually managed to establish a close bond and casual relationship including dinner dates, shared vacations, theatre visits and carnal pleasures with Clarissa Nott for two years. But I had to break it off with the blonde green-eyed beauty when she developed feelings for me. She is a happily married mum of three now. Sometimes, I envy her husband, Tiberius Greengrass, for his beautiful intelligent wife, cute kids, and nice home. But I realize that my role as a double spy in the midst of the Death Eaters would never allow me to have a family. Who would want to have a family with the greasy Dungeon Bat anyways?"_ Severus scoffed loudly.

He should stop his pity party and focus on his tasks ahead. He would have to kill his close friend and mentor, Albus Dumbledore, during the next summer. Albus Dumbledore had saved his life fifteen years ago by vouching for him in front of the Wizengamot, saving his sorry ass from a life sentence in Azkaban, employing him as his new Potions Master at Hogwarts and giving him a new chance to redeem his wretched life choices. Thanks to him, he was the Order's spy who betrayed the Death Eaters' secrets, planted false information into their heads and sabotaged their war efforts. His sole purpose was to avenge Lily's death by defeating her murderer and his inhuman followers once for all.

 _"Well, you will certainly boost your position within the Dark Lord's ranks by killing his number two enemy. But what will the murder of their leader by their mistrusted spy do to the Order? It will undoubtedly weaken us beyond repair, especially since Dumbledore is our unrivaled strategic and emotional leader. His murder by my hands will cut the already thinning rows of Order members to the quick, for they will lose the hope to win the war without the most powerful wizard and a useful spy inside the inner circle of the Death Eaters on their side._

" _They will brand me as a traitor, hunt me down and hate me more than the Dark Lord, for it will seem as if I have killed their only hope to win the war and betrayed their secrets to their enemies. I will be lucky if Minerva doesn't murder me in my sleep. I will have to damage my soul further, regardless that my Avada Kedavra will be a mercy killing. Every kill pulls out a piece of your soul. It is nonrelevant for your emotional and mental health, if you kill someone in self-defense, the defense of others, your role as a spy or in a merciful act. In the end, your soul will be littered in black marks. While my soul is already intermingled with darkness due to my fellowship of the Dark Lord in the First War and my actions as a spy, I'm desperately trying to not surrender completely to my darkness._

" _Sometimes, I hate Albus for the duties he puts upon me and the expectations he has of me. I need to be a merciless killer, conscienceless poison brewer and sadistic torturer for the Dark Lord. At the same time, I need to be a masterful spy, creative Potions Master and inventive Spellcrafter for the Order of the Phoenix. In my darkest hours, I don't know who I really am and get tempted by the allure of the Dark Arts. Only the light and beauty of my conjured doe Patronus can keep me sane in these moments and strengthen my fight for the Light Side. I endure any torture, emotional pain and physical abuse with the hope to destroy the Dark Lord and his fools. But sometimes, it is all too much for one person to handle alone._

" _In these hopeless times, I imagine myself into an alternate dream world where I can live the life I have dreamed of as a young boy. A peaceful world where I change the Wizarding community for the better with my inventions in Potions and Spellwork, I am a popular man with many friends, money and a loving family and no Dark Lord is alive. I realize that I will never live in such a world, for I will be condemned for eternity for my Death Eater past and the killing of the great Albus Dumbledore. If I survive the war – which is highly unlikely due to my double spy life – I will be loathed by all wizards and witches and thrown into Azkaban for life. In the most pessimistic vision of my future, I receive the Dementors Kiss for my crimes. I label it as the most horrific possible future, for death would be a mercy in comparison. In the most optimistic vision of my future, I live the life of a social outcast after a long stint in Azkaban. Hence, I have accepted that I will probably die a lonely death."_

Severus sneered at his pathetic thoughts. He shouldn't be wallowing in self-pity now, because he would need his strength in the upcoming Order meeting. Though his nemesis Sirius Black had been killed by Bellatrix a few months ago, he still loathed attending the Order meetings at Grimmauld Place, for almost all members welcomed him with open hostility, mistrust, and contempt. Alastor Moody would gladly let a Dementor suck out his soul. In his mind, someone who had willingly joined Lord Voldemort in their youth was a criminal monster who couldn't be trusted and change sides. Amelia Bones would gladly kill him on the spot. She knew that he had invented the nerve poison that had killed the McKinnons in the First War. Nobody could redeem himself for the murder of children, women and the elderly. Molly Weasley would gladly hex him into oblivion, for he had bullied the Golden Trio mercilessly at Hogwarts. In her opinion, no bully could ever have the heart to fight for the Light Side.

The only members that welcomed him friendly were oddly enough Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, and Nymphadora Tonks. Kingsley Shacklebolt was fascinated by his genius in Potions and Spellcrafting and regarded him as a powerful asset for the Order in the fight against the Death Eaters. He encouraged him to develop new Healing Potions and teach his Spying Spells to the Order. Although Remus Lupin was one of his youth tormentors, he acted civilly with him, because he felt guilty about his bystander role at Hogwarts, indebted to him for his Wolfsbane delivery and sorry for the torture he suffered as their spy. He defended him against any badmouthing and cited Dumbledore's trust in him as reason enough to believe in his trustworthiness.

Nymphadora Tonks was fascinated by his skills in Occlumency and Legillimency and felt indebted to him, for he had helped her to secure her position as an Auror. Tonks had been a talented Potions student despite her clumsiness. Thanks to some private tutor sessions in her seventh year, she had received an "O" in her N.E.W.T.'s and could enroll in Auror training. He quite liked Tonks fiery personality and no-nonsense attitude, hence he had trained her in Occlumency and Legilimency some years ago. As a Metamorphogus she had some unique abilities to help them win the war against the Dark Side. Equipped with solid Occlumency shields and basic Legilimency skills, she was a powerful asset for the Order. She spied on the lower Death Eaters, extracted valuable information from her Uncle Lucius and even infiltrated the Snatchers thanks to her Metamorphogus powers.

Somehow, they had become friends due to their shared private lessons and spy lives. They talked about new ways to develop powerful Ward-Breaking Spells, to improve the Blood-Replenishing Potion or to perfect their spying game. Though they almost never talked about their childhoods, fears, and hopes to each other, he was always happy to see the funny bright Hufflepuff again. He couldn't wait to discuss the newest article in _Charms Weekly_ on how to decode Tracking Spells with her. _"Severus, don't kid yourself. The young vibrant Hufflepuff is only friendly to you because you helped her to refine her mind skills. She probably doesn't see you as her friend Severus, but still as her nasty greasy git Potions Master. She only chats with you, for you are a source of new knowledge to her. There is nothing more to it. Who could honestly be friends with you? Besides that, do I need to remind you what happened to your first best female friend?",_ a nasty voice asked inside his head.

He blocked it out with his Occlumency shields, but the self-doubts lingered in his head until a loud voice screamed at him in his mind. _"Come on, Severus. Don't let yourself be discouraged by your low self-confidence and self-doubts. The beautiful bubbly Hufflepuff wouldn't have visited you inside of your Hogwarts chambers to drink a glass of vine and discuss her favorite English literature and movies with you if she didn't enjoy your company. She surely considers you to be her friend, for she talked about her issues with her mum to you and even confessed that she longed to have kids. Naturally, you didn't share anything personal with her, but she opened up to you. She would only disclose such private issues to someone she likes and trusts. Hence, don't let your self-doubts destroy your friendship. Her laughter at your sarcastic jokes should clearly tell you that she is happy to be your friend."_

Severus's logical mind agreed with this optimistic-sounding voice. Nymphadora Tonks was his friend. She let him sometimes even get away with calling her Nymphadora. Perhaps, she could be a light for him in his world of darkness. He could understand Nymphadora's longing to have children very well. Although he had vowed to end the Snape line with himself in his youth, for he didn't want to burden any child with the dark traits of his wretched father and himself, he longed to have a daughter or son in the last few years. He realized that this longing was reckless and foolish, for any child of his would have to follow the Dark Lord and would be mercilessly bullied for his parentage. If he thought logically about it, he knew that he couldn't juggle the duties of a family man with his spy duties, Death Eater Alter Ego and Potions Master role. Hell, he would endanger any child of his from the moment they were born. But the idea to have someone that loves you unconditionally, needs your love, parenting, and protection to grow into a self-independent intelligent happy child and shares your genes excited him.

It hunted his dreams for months, and while he couldn't be this hands-on dad to an adorable child, he had decided to donate his sperm to a sperm bank five months ago. Call it masculine role thinking, the fear to die without leaving anything behind or a selfish need to pass on genes, he wanted to have a child due to Muggle sciences. Naturally, he wouldn't get to know them, for he probably would be long dead when they reached their seventeenth birthday anyways, but he wanted to help a couple with fertility issues or a single woman to welcome a child into their lives. Therefore, he registered himself as sperm donor 5799 in the St. Mungo's sperm bank.

After a magical check-up of his health, sperm quality and scanning of his magical core, he donated four vials of his sperm, that he had to produce while embarrassingly masturbating to a magical induced erotic dream of some faceless curvaceous redhead, filled out an anonymous information sheet that disclosed his basic information – physical traits, age, blood status, profession, hobbies – to the mum-to-be and underwent the Identity-Verifying Spell that produced a file with his personal information – name, date of birth, place of birth, address, blood status, family history, medical history, Hogwarts history, profession, hobbies – including a picture that would be enclosed to his child if they wanted to know who their biological dad was at seventeen years. He permitted the sperm bank to use his sperm for one successful pregnancy and ticked to get informed by a successful in-vitro fertilization. He doubted that he would hear from the Fertility Clinic again, for some female client needed to have a high compatibility with his magical signature to secure an easy-going pregnancy. He couldn't imagine that there was some woman out there who shared most of his magical signature and wanted to use in-vitro fertilization to get pregnant.

His buzzing sounds were interrupted by a crash on his window. Some ruddy barn owl bumped its head against his window to deliver a message to him. _"These devilish rats of the air are a real nuisance. They are too stupid to not nearly kill themselves on your window and too rude to not attack you on the spot for your tardiness. Merlin, I must have some owl goodies somewhere to tranquilize this feather ball,"_ he ranted in his thoughts. He quickly searched his cupboards for some goodies, went to the window, opened it, extracted a cream-colored envelope from its sharp beak and fed it with his goodies while trying to not be cut by its sharp claws. After shooing the insufferable owl out of his home, he searched for the adressor on his envelope. His eyes widened. It was from the St. Mungo's Fertility Clinic. He opened the letter with shaking hands and read:

" _ **Dear sperm donor 5799,**_

 _ **we are happy to inform you that your sperm was successfully used in an in-vitro fertilization. A single female client, who had a 90% compatibility with your magical signature, is currently 3 weeks pregnant with twins. If everything goes according to plan, you will be a dad of twins in nine months. We will keep you informed about their birth date.**_

 _ **As you have permitted us to only use your sperm for one successful in-vitro fertilization and birth, we will store your sperm sample in a blocked register for nine months. When your twins will be born, we will destroy your sperm sample once for all. If our female client should miscarry, we will put your sperm sample back into our register.**_

 _ **We thank you for your sperm donation because it makes a dream come true for one woman. We hope that our news lightens up your day and that everything will proceed as planned.**_

 _ **Kind regards,**_

 _ **Dr. Helena Rosenstein**_

 _ **(Certificated gynecologist and female Healer)"**_

Severus couldn't believe it. Somewhere out there was a single mum who had a 90% match with his magical signature and carried his twins. He would be a dad of twins come May. Although he felt a warm feeling spread through his veins, it was extinguished by one realization. He would have to murder Albus Dumbledore roughly one month after the birth of his twins. Sometimes life could really be hell.


	3. 2 - Sometimes you could burst out of joy

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You truly are amazing._

 _Have a nice day and a Happy New Year,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 3 – Sometimes you want to murder your allies!**

 _ **Order of the Phoenix Headquarters, 12 Grimmauld Place, London, August 1996**_

Nymphadora Tonks stood with a heavy heart in front of the invisible Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. Although she still was overjoyed by the news of her twin pregnancy, she was overwhelmed with sad memories of her time spent at 12 Grimmauld Place. _"Sirius is now lost in the Veil inside the Death Chamber forever. He is dead and I feel guilty about it, for my second cousin saved my life, jumped in front of me and battled my crazy aunt Bellatrix. I have realized that I wouldn't be alive without his actions today and that my twins would never have been conceived. I underwent the in-vitro fertilization with vigor after his death and my fight at the Department of Mysteries, because it showed me how fast my life could end. My injuries were severe and without the help of the Order and Harry Potter's friends, I wouldn't have made it._

" _I want to honor Sirius's sacrifice and fight against the Death Eaters by naming my son Orion as a second name. And I want to defeat my sadistic bitch of an aunt and her evil goons by spying on the Death Eaters with my Metamorphogus skills and knack for Spellcrafting. But I can't feel guilty about Sirius's death forever or have some kind of a survivor complex because it would only cause me distress and stress that could harm my unborn children. I know that Sirius would be ecstatic to know that my dream of being a mum_ _comes true. He loved children. Hence, I'm going to process my grief by parenting my twins into the happiest children on earth."_

Tonks vowed in a determined voice and imagined the slip of paper with the phrase "The Orders Headquarter is at 12 Grimmauld Place, London" in front of her eyes. The old Muggle townhouse appeared, shoving number eleven and thirteen aside and greeting her with its worn set of front steps, battered front door and silver knocker in the shape of a twisted snake. _"How much I loathe this gloomy Muggle deceiving house. It exudes such a dark aura because of its twisted dark magic artifacts that it is no wonder that half of the Blacks turned bat-shit crazy. But I guess that it is the ideal Headquarters for the Order because Muggles can't see it due to its unplottable status and it is put under the Fidelius Charm with Albus Dumbledore as the Secret Keeper. Nonetheless, it creeps me out and dear Aunty Walburga's screeches are driven me mad."_ Tonks thought in an annoyed tone and opened the door with a powerful _Alohomora_. She walked slowly into the dimly light long hallway, making sure to not stumble over the troll foot umbrella stand and waking up her second aunt's portrait, for she didn't want to be verbally abused by this screaming evil harpy today.

She walked on silent feet into the dining room down the hall when she heard a deep baritone chuckle beside her. "Well, Nymphadora, I hope that your spying spills are better equipped when you are on your Metamorphogus missions for the Order because the lower ranked Death Eater would surely die out of laughter if they saw you approaching like one of Lucius's flamingos, but kill you a few minutes later due to your suspicious behavior." Tonks turned around with a smile and faced the sparkling obsidian eyes of Severus Snape. Despite his amused smile, he looked tired, worn-out and unhealthily thin. His porcelain skin was ghastly pale and his black locks were greasier than ever. _"Merlin, the Dark Lord and Dumbledore must tax him with work. He looks exhausted. I hope that I will be able to cheer him up and lessen his burden. I can surely help him with his Spellcrafting tasks,"_ a worried voice mumbled inside her mind.

Severus looked in the sparkling indigo eyes of Nymphadora. Her dark red bob framed her heart-shaped face perfectly and her cheeks seemed to glow with happiness. _"Merlin, she is a vision of beauty. How can she be so positive, bubbly and carefree in these dark times? Her beaming smile can certainly light every room,"_ he thought in a dazed voice. Her smile also told him that she had taken his joke as the playful banter it was supposed to be. Naturally, Tonks' clumsiness wasn't a secret in the Order and it annoyed her when anybody mentioned it. But she could somehow take his sarcastic remarks with a smile and be kind to him.

"Severus, you know that I'm a master spy for the Order. I can turn into a cunning silent panther if I want to and jump at the Death Eaters from a hidden position. No one ever notices me thanks to my Metamorphogus skills. It's good to see you again. Although I have to say that you look exhausted. You have to take better care of you, my friend. I will mother you to death if you don't heighten your sleeping time and eating schedule. I will crash in your chambers after this meeting because I miss our friendly talks, want to share some ideas for new spells with you and tell you a big secret. I hope that you are up for it because I won't take no for an answer." She exclaimed in a no-nonsense tone.

Severus just smirked at her. "Well, I'm up for your visit for I can't wait to see your crazy socks and hear all about your new ideas for spells. But before our entertainment can start, comes work. So, let us walk into the dining room without waking this awful harpy. I trust that everyone will be ecstatic to see my handsome face." He mumbled in a sarcastic tone. Walking beside him to the dining room, Tonks felt again furious at her fellow Order members.

" _How can they treat Severus with so open animosity and distrust? Can't they see the lack of sleep in his eyes, the worry lines on his face and the torture scars on his arms? Merlin, sometimes he even sits through an Order meeting sporting a fresh cut on his chest and trembling like a freezing kid from the aftereffects of a Cruciatus Curses session. He still delivers his spying report in a strategic speech, powerful posture and dark aura, but if you look into his obsidian eyes you can detect the pain, exhaustion, and loneliness in them. It seems that my fellow Order members aren't able to see his brave sacrifices and unrelenting fight for the Light Side. It really pisses me off,"_ she thought enraged.

The dining room was already packed with the Order members. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody were silently whispering to each other about Auror business, the Weasleys were bragging about the twins' joke business, Amelia Bones and Emmeline Vance were talking in worried voices about the growing power of the Death Eaters in the Ministry and Remus Lupin informed Albus Dumbledore about his newest undercover work. When they noticed the arrival of Severus Snape, Moody sneered at him maliciously, Arthur Weasley looked at him suspiciously and Amelia Bones pierced him with a death glare. Their talks died down and the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped by ten degrees. Even Molly Weasley who mothered every Order member could only manage to plaster a fake smile on her face.

Nymphadora looked at her friend. His onyx eyes flickered with hurt for mere seconds and he exuded an uncomfortable aura, but he managed to erect his Occlumency shields and greet everyone with a silent nod before he seated himself on a chair in the far-right corner of the room. Tonks glared disappointedly at her friends and followed him in his lonely corner. She wanted to show him that he had at least one friend who believed in him, enjoyed his company and wanted to share his burdens. _"I can't fathom why the Order is treating one of their own like their mortal enemy and a social outcast. Sure, Severus has been a Death Eater in his past, committed awful crimes and radiates a dark anti-social aura. But these are no reasons to overlook his spy work for our side and cut him out. He has redeemed himself and is our biggest asset besides Harry to defeat Voldemort. Why can't they acknowledge this?"_ She lounged herself in an angry mood beside him.

Severus detected her darkened mood. _"Merlin, she probably is angry with the Order for their reactions to me. Although I appreciate her care and support, she shouldn't waste her time by being pissed at the Order on my behalf, for they won't ever change their opinion about me. She can't make them respect or trust me because their distrust and loathing of me are deeply rooted. She shouldn't waste her energy, smiles and bubbly nature on a fight she can't win."_ He mused darkly. He wanted to see her smiling again, thence he squeezed her hand gently and whispered into her ear, "Thanks for defending me with your angry glares. But you shouldn't waste your time on them. I have accepted that they don't like or trust me. And your friendship and vibrant aura make up for their sour faces anyway." Tonks shivered slightly and beamed at him. "Don't flatter me, Severus or my hair is going to change into an embarrassing Bordeaux red. But your friendship means a lot to me too."

Before they could deepen their chat, Albus Dumbledore addressed the assembled Order members in a grave tone. "Thank you all for coming to 12 Grimmauld Place today. Sirius passed the townhouse and all his possessions on to his godson Harry, hence we are still able to use it as Headquarters. It's a real tragedy that Sirius's life ended so soon after his innocent prison stay at Azkaban. He was a valuable member for the Order and fought fiercely against dark magic and the Death Eaters. His loss hurts us and Harry terribly. We need to do anything in our power to reassure Harry that he isn't guilty of Sirius's death. Bellatrix Lestrange killed him and no one could have stopped the sadistic crazy dark witch from killing her cousin.

"Harry needs to realize that. Molly and Arthur, you need to treat him as your own son, listen to his sorrows and comfort him in his grief now more than ever. We need to prepare him for his fight against Voldemort and keep him sane. He is the only one who can defeat Voldemort and we need to do anything to support him and to train his skills. I will teach him Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts and show him snippets of Voldemort's past because he needs to know everything about his enemy to be able to defeat him. Kingsley and Mad-Eye, I expect that you keep an eye on the Death Eater spies in the Ministry and try to weaken Voldemort's forces by arresting suspect Death Eaters. You will also have to train your Aurors in special Defense skills.

"Remus, I trust that you will do anything to persuade the werewolves to our side. Voldemort is trying to turn them against us for decades and it is vital that he doesn't gain their full support. Amelia and Emmeline, I expect that you observe Voldemort's influence on the Wizengamot and try to recruit more witches and wizards for our side. Nymphadora, I trust that you keep on infiltrating the lower Death Eaters and Snatchers and try to gather some intelligence from them. It will be vital to know how their structures are working. If there aren't any questions on your missions, I think that we should remember Sirius with a silent goodbye of our wands before Severus will deliver his newest spying report to us." Dumbledore ended his speech, looking in the grieving faces of his followers and piercing Severus with a twinkling gaze.

" _Damn, the old fool thinks that I will make a scene out of this remembrance for the mongrel. Naturally, I hated Sirius Black for his bullying past, reckless behavior and boundless arrogance, but I'm not satisfied with his death. I hope that he is reunited with his mate Potter in the afterlife and somehow can protect the Boy-Who-Lived from dying. I will not shed a single tear for him, but I will give him my respects with a silent raise of my wand,"_ Severus vowed in a determined tone. Getting up from his chair, he looked at the tears-stricken and guilt-ridden face of Nymphadora and the solemn faces of his fellow Order members. _"Hell, Nymphadora shouldn't feel guilty for his death. Sure, he rescued her from Bellatrix's Killing Curse, but he lost his duel to his deranged cousin due to his arrogance and recklessness. I hope to diffuse her survivor's guilt in our heart-to-heart talk later this evening,"_ he mumbled in his thoughts. He raised his wand in the air and uttered the Last Goodbye Spell with the others. A spectrum of colorful lights erupted from their wands and bathed the dining room in a magical light.

After one minute, he seated himself again, awaited the solemn mood to die down and addressed his fellow members. "The Dark Lord is more unstable than ever. He tortures his followers who mess up some of his missions, increases the frequency of his dark revels which include the torturing, raping and killing of Muggles, Muggle-borns, and Blood Traitors and heightens the frequency of his terror attacks on Muggle infrastructure and Wizarding villages. He is confident that he will be in control of the Ministry in a year's time, for his number of spies in the Ministry grows every week and he has managed to gain the favor of most of the Wizengamot."

He paused here due to the outraged and shocked reactions of his fellow members. _"They undoubtedly condemn me for my entanglement with the Death Eaters. Merlin, they probably think that I'm raping and killing Muggle women weekly. But I thankfully managed to escape these revels by citing my grading work at Hogwarts and using an Impotent Potion. I wish that I could stop them from happening once and for all. But to suggest this to the Dark Lord would be my death sentence. I can only sabotage their attacks on Wizarding villages and Muggle infrastructure by informing Dumbledore and evacuating some witches and wizards."_ His guilt and self-loathing tried to overwhelm him, but a gentle squeeze of Tonks' hand enabled him to go on with his report.

"He has tasked Draco Malfoy with a special mission that he is forced to complete under the threat of killing his mother. As Draco is my godson, I took an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy to protect him, guide him through his mission and help him complete it. I don't know much about the details but I feel that Draco won't be able to finish it alone. Despite his arrogant spoiled child aura and cruel bullying tendencies, he is merely a confused teenaged boy with a good heart who wants to protect his mother. I will keep Albus up to date on the specifics of his mission, but I can't promise you quick news, for Draco sealed himself off from me due to Lucius' stay in Azkaban and the rising demands of the Dark Lord. I will work to regain his trust when the term starts again at Hogwarts. And I will intercept as much information about the next Death Eater terror attacks and his spies in the Ministry as possible without outing myself as a spy." He ended his speech with a determined sparkle in his eyes.

"Thank you, Severus. It will be from the utmost importance to regain Draco's trust and counteract the terror attacks as timely as possible." He interrupted the distrustful mumblings about Severus's true role in the midst of the Death Eaters and his allegiance as a spy with a powerful Silencing Spell. "I trust that you will stop your insane conspiracy theories now. Severus is firmly on our side, I trust him with my life and I won't tolerate your suspicions of him. He risks his life every day for our efforts, protects your children and endures Voldemort's tortures. We need to be a united front against the Death Eaters, inner fights will only prevent our victory. So, stop your talks right now." Dumbledore stated in an angry voice. "Our meeting is dismissed for tonight. Everyone knows what they need to do. We will meet again in three weeks time if no emergency occurs." He broke the Silencing Spell and swept out of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry, leaving his dumfounded Order members behind.

Mrs. Weasley invited the remaining members to a healthy stew into the kitchen and all Order members beside Severus Snape and Nymphadora Tonks followed her invitation, piercing the Potions Master with distrustful glances and mumbling about the dire state of the Order on their way out of the dining room. Severus never stayed in Grimmauld Place for the meal, because he couldn't endure the snide remarks, suspicious glares, and evil jokes. He left 12 Grimmauld Place as soon as possible, breathing a sigh of relief that he endured his report without breaking down and lashing out against his fellow Order members. Tonks locked her indigo eyes with his obsidian ones, gifted him with a half smile and touched his right shoulder gently. "Come on, let's leave this animosity filled atmosphere and crash down in your chambers, Severus. I have so much to tell you. You know that I also trust you with my life, so don't give a shit about their mistrust. One only needs two good friends. And with Dumbledore and me on your side, nothing can go wrong." She exclaimed in a reassuring voice.

Lost in his thoughts, Severus only noted once, smirked at her and walked out of the dining room with her on his side. They left the gloomy halls of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry and apparated with a pop to Hogsmeade.


	4. 3 - Sometimes you want to murder your

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You truly are amazing._

 _Have a nice day and a Happy New Year,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 3 – Sometimes you want to murder your allies!**

 _ **Order of the Phoenix Headquarters, 12 Grimmauld Place, London, August 1996**_

Nymphadora Tonks stood with a heavy heart in front of the invisible Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. Although she still was overjoyed by the news of her twin pregnancy, she was overwhelmed with sad memories of her time spent at 12 Grimmauld Place. _"Sirius is now lost in the Veil inside the Death Chamber forever. He is dead and I feel guilty about it, for my second cousin saved my life, jumped in front of me and battled my crazy aunt Bellatrix. I have realized that I wouldn't be alive without his actions today and that my twins would never have been conceived. I underwent the in-vitro fertilization with vigor after his death and my fight at the Department of Mysteries, because it showed me how fast my life could end. My injuries were severe and without the help of the Order and Harry Potter's friends, I wouldn't have made it._

" _I want to honor Sirius's sacrifice and fight against the Death Eaters by naming my son Orion as a second name. And I want to defeat my sadistic bitch of an aunt and her evil goons by spying on the Death Eaters with my Metamorphogus skills and knack for Spellcrafting. But I can't feel guilty about Sirius's death forever or have some kind of a survivor complex because it would only cause me distress and stress that could harm my unborn children. I know that Sirius would be ecstatic to know that my dream of being a mum_ _comes true. He loved children. Hence, I'm going to process my grief by parenting my twins into the happiest children on earth."_

Tonks vowed in a determined voice and imagined the slip of paper with the phrase "The Orders Headquarter is at 12 Grimmauld Place, London" in front of her eyes. The old Muggle townhouse appeared, shoving number eleven and thirteen aside and greeting her with its worn set of front steps, battered front door and silver knocker in the shape of a twisted snake. _"How much I loathe this gloomy Muggle deceiving house. It exudes such a dark aura because of its twisted dark magic artifacts that it is no wonder that half of the Blacks turned bat-shit crazy. But I guess that it is the ideal Headquarters for the Order because Muggles can't see it due to its unplottable status and it is put under the Fidelius Charm with Albus Dumbledore as the Secret Keeper. Nonetheless, it creeps me out and dear Aunty Walburga's screeches are driven me mad."_ Tonks thought in an annoyed tone and opened the door with a powerful _Alohomora_. She walked slowly into the dimly light long hallway, making sure to not stumble over the troll foot umbrella stand and waking up her second aunt's portrait, for she didn't want to be verbally abused by this screaming evil harpy today.

She walked on silent feet into the dining room down the hall when she heard a deep baritone chuckle beside her. "Well, Nymphadora, I hope that your spying spills are better equipped when you are on your Metamorphogus missions for the Order because the lower ranked Death Eater would surely die out of laughter if they saw you approaching like one of Lucius's flamingos, but kill you a few minutes later due to your suspicious behavior." Tonks turned around with a smile and faced the sparkling obsidian eyes of Severus Snape. Despite his amused smile, he looked tired, worn-out and unhealthily thin. His porcelain skin was ghastly pale and his black locks were greasier than ever. _"Merlin, the Dark Lord and Dumbledore must tax him with work. He looks exhausted. I hope that I will be able to cheer him up and lessen his burden. I can surely help him with his Spellcrafting tasks,"_ a worried voice mumbled inside her mind.

Severus looked in the sparkling indigo eyes of Nymphadora. Her dark red bob framed her heart-shaped face perfectly and her cheeks seemed to glow with happiness. _"Merlin, she is a vision of beauty. How can she be so positive, bubbly and carefree in these dark times? Her beaming smile can certainly light every room,"_ he thought in a dazed voice. Her smile also told him that she had taken his joke as the playful banter it was supposed to be. Naturally, Tonks' clumsiness wasn't a secret in the Order and it annoyed her when anybody mentioned it. But she could somehow take his sarcastic remarks with a smile and be kind to him.

"Severus, you know that I'm a master spy for the Order. I can turn into a cunning silent panther if I want to and jump at the Death Eaters from a hidden position. No one ever notices me thanks to my Metamorphogus skills. It's good to see you again. Although I have to say that you look exhausted. You have to take better care of you, my friend. I will mother you to death if you don't heighten your sleeping time and eating schedule. I will crash in your chambers after this meeting because I miss our friendly talks, want to share some ideas for new spells with you and tell you a big secret. I hope that you are up for it because I won't take no for an answer." She exclaimed in a no-nonsense tone.

Severus just smirked at her. "Well, I'm up for your visit for I can't wait to see your crazy socks and hear all about your new ideas for spells. But before our entertainment can start, comes work. So, let us walk into the dining room without waking this awful harpy. I trust that everyone will be ecstatic to see my handsome face." He mumbled in a sarcastic tone. Walking beside him to the dining room, Tonks felt again furious at her fellow Order members.

" _How can they treat Severus with so open animosity and distrust? Can't they see the lack of sleep in his eyes, the worry lines on his face and the torture scars on his arms? Merlin, sometimes he even sits through an Order meeting sporting a fresh cut on his chest and trembling like a freezing kid from the aftereffects of a Cruciatus Curses session. He still delivers his spying report in a strategic speech, powerful posture and dark aura, but if you look into his obsidian eyes you can detect the pain, exhaustion, and loneliness in them. It seems that my fellow Order members aren't able to see his brave sacrifices and unrelenting fight for the Light Side. It really pisses me off,"_ she thought enraged.

The dining room was already packed with the Order members. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mad-Eye Moody were silently whispering to each other about Auror business, the Weasleys were bragging about the twins' joke business, Amelia Bones and Emmeline Vance were talking in worried voices about the growing power of the Death Eaters in the Ministry and Remus Lupin informed Albus Dumbledore about his newest undercover work. When they noticed the arrival of Severus Snape, Moody sneered at him maliciously, Arthur Weasley looked at him suspiciously and Amelia Bones pierced him with a death glare. Their talks died down and the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped by ten degrees. Even Molly Weasley who mothered every Order member could only manage to plaster a fake smile on her face.

Nymphadora looked at her friend. His onyx eyes flickered with hurt for mere seconds and he exuded an uncomfortable aura, but he managed to erect his Occlumency shields and greet everyone with a silent nod before he seated himself on a chair in the far-right corner of the room. Tonks glared disappointedly at her friends and followed him in his lonely corner. She wanted to show him that he had at least one friend who believed in him, enjoyed his company and wanted to share his burdens. _"I can't fathom why the Order is treating one of their own like their mortal enemy and a social outcast. Sure, Severus has been a Death Eater in his past, committed awful crimes and radiates a dark anti-social aura. But these are no reasons to overlook his spy work for our side and cut him out. He has redeemed himself and is our biggest asset besides Harry to defeat Voldemort. Why can't they acknowledge this?"_ She lounged herself in an angry mood beside him.

Severus detected her darkened mood. _"Merlin, she probably is angry with the Order for their reactions to me. Although I appreciate her care and support, she shouldn't waste her time by being pissed at the Order on my behalf, for they won't ever change their opinion about me. She can't make them respect or trust me because their distrust and loathing of me are deeply rooted. She shouldn't waste her energy, smiles and bubbly nature on a fight she can't win."_ He mused darkly. He wanted to see her smiling again, thence he squeezed her hand gently and whispered into her ear, "Thanks for defending me with your angry glares. But you shouldn't waste your time on them. I have accepted that they don't like or trust me. And your friendship and vibrant aura make up for their sour faces anyway." Tonks shivered slightly and beamed at him. "Don't flatter me, Severus or my hair is going to change into an embarrassing Bordeaux red. But your friendship means a lot to me too."

Before they could deepen their chat, Albus Dumbledore addressed the assembled Order members in a grave tone. "Thank you all for coming to 12 Grimmauld Place today. Sirius passed the townhouse and all his possessions on to his godson Harry, hence we are still able to use it as Headquarters. It's a real tragedy that Sirius's life ended so soon after his innocent prison stay at Azkaban. He was a valuable member for the Order and fought fiercely against dark magic and the Death Eaters. His loss hurts us and Harry terribly. We need to do anything in our power to reassure Harry that he isn't guilty of Sirius's death. Bellatrix Lestrange killed him and no one could have stopped the sadistic crazy dark witch from killing her cousin.

"Harry needs to realize that. Molly and Arthur, you need to treat him as your own son, listen to his sorrows and comfort him in his grief now more than ever. We need to prepare him for his fight against Voldemort and keep him sane. He is the only one who can defeat Voldemort and we need to do anything to support him and to train his skills. I will teach him Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts and show him snippets of Voldemort's past because he needs to know everything about his enemy to be able to defeat him. Kingsley and Mad-Eye, I expect that you keep an eye on the Death Eater spies in the Ministry and try to weaken Voldemort's forces by arresting suspect Death Eaters. You will also have to train your Aurors in special Defense skills.

"Remus, I trust that you will do anything to persuade the werewolves to our side. Voldemort is trying to turn them against us for decades and it is vital that he doesn't gain their full support. Amelia and Emmeline, I expect that you observe Voldemort's influence on the Wizengamot and try to recruit more witches and wizards for our side. Nymphadora, I trust that you keep on infiltrating the lower Death Eaters and Snatchers and try to gather some intelligence from them. It will be vital to know how their structures are working. If there aren't any questions on your missions, I think that we should remember Sirius with a silent goodbye of our wands before Severus will deliver his newest spying report to us." Dumbledore ended his speech, looking in the grieving faces of his followers and piercing Severus with a twinkling gaze.

" _Damn, the old fool thinks that I will make a scene out of this remembrance for the mongrel. Naturally, I hated Sirius Black for his bullying past, reckless behavior and boundless arrogance, but I'm not satisfied with his death. I hope that he is reunited with his mate Potter in the afterlife and somehow can protect the Boy-Who-Lived from dying. I will not shed a single tear for him, but I will give him my respects with a silent raise of my wand,"_ Severus vowed in a determined tone. Getting up from his chair, he looked at the tears-stricken and guilt-ridden face of Nymphadora and the solemn faces of his fellow Order members. _"Hell, Nymphadora shouldn't feel guilty for his death. Sure, he rescued her from Bellatrix's Killing Curse, but he lost his duel to his deranged cousin due to his arrogance and recklessness. I hope to diffuse her survivor's guilt in our heart-to-heart talk later this evening,"_ he mumbled in his thoughts. He raised his wand in the air and uttered the Last Goodbye Spell with the others. A spectrum of colorful lights erupted from their wands and bathed the dining room in a magical light.

After one minute, he seated himself again, awaited the solemn mood to die down and addressed his fellow members. "The Dark Lord is more unstable than ever. He tortures his followers who mess up some of his missions, increases the frequency of his dark revels which include the torturing, raping and killing of Muggles, Muggle-borns, and Blood Traitors and heightens the frequency of his terror attacks on Muggle infrastructure and Wizarding villages. He is confident that he will be in control of the Ministry in a year's time, for his number of spies in the Ministry grows every week and he has managed to gain the favor of most of the Wizengamot."

He paused here due to the outraged and shocked reactions of his fellow members. _"They undoubtedly condemn me for my entanglement with the Death Eaters. Merlin, they probably think that I'm raping and killing Muggle women weekly. But I thankfully managed to escape these revels by citing my grading work at Hogwarts and using an Impotent Potion. I wish that I could stop them from happening once and for all. But to suggest this to the Dark Lord would be my death sentence. I can only sabotage their attacks on Wizarding villages and Muggle infrastructure by informing Dumbledore and evacuating some witches and wizards."_ His guilt and self-loathing tried to overwhelm him, but a gentle squeeze of Tonks' hand enabled him to go on with his report.

"He has tasked Draco Malfoy with a special mission that he is forced to complete under the threat of killing his mother. As Draco is my godson, I took an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy to protect him, guide him through his mission and help him complete it. I don't know much about the details but I feel that Draco won't be able to finish it alone. Despite his arrogant spoiled child aura and cruel bullying tendencies, he is merely a confused teenaged boy with a good heart who wants to protect his mother. I will keep Albus up to date on the specifics of his mission, but I can't promise you quick news, for Draco sealed himself off from me due to Lucius' stay in Azkaban and the rising demands of the Dark Lord. I will work to regain his trust when the term starts again at Hogwarts. And I will intercept as much information about the next Death Eater terror attacks and his spies in the Ministry as possible without outing myself as a spy." He ended his speech with a determined sparkle in his eyes.

"Thank you, Severus. It will be from the utmost importance to regain Draco's trust and counteract the terror attacks as timely as possible." He interrupted the distrustful mumblings about Severus's true role in the midst of the Death Eaters and his allegiance as a spy with a powerful Silencing Spell. "I trust that you will stop your insane conspiracy theories now. Severus is firmly on our side, I trust him with my life and I won't tolerate your suspicions of him. He risks his life every day for our efforts, protects your children and endures Voldemort's tortures. We need to be a united front against the Death Eaters, inner fights will only prevent our victory. So, stop your talks right now." Dumbledore stated in an angry voice. "Our meeting is dismissed for tonight. Everyone knows what they need to do. We will meet again in three weeks time if no emergency occurs." He broke the Silencing Spell and swept out of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry, leaving his dumfounded Order members behind.

Mrs. Weasley invited the remaining members to a healthy stew into the kitchen and all Order members beside Severus Snape and Nymphadora Tonks followed her invitation, piercing the Potions Master with distrustful glances and mumbling about the dire state of the Order on their way out of the dining room. Severus never stayed in Grimmauld Place for the meal, because he couldn't endure the snide remarks, suspicious glares, and evil jokes. He left 12 Grimmauld Place as soon as possible, breathing a sigh of relief that he endured his report without breaking down and lashing out against his fellow Order members. Tonks locked her indigo eyes with his obsidian ones, gifted him with a half smile and touched his right shoulder gently. "Come on, let's leave this animosity filled atmosphere and crash down in your chambers, Severus. I have so much to tell you. You know that I also trust you with my life, so don't give a shit about their mistrust. One only needs two good friends. And with Dumbledore and me on your side, nothing can go wrong." She exclaimed in a reassuring voice.

Lost in his thoughts, Severus only noted once, smirked at her and walked out of the dining room with her on his side. They left the gloomy halls of 12 Grimmauld Place in a hurry and apparated with a pop to Hogsmeade.


	5. 4 - Sometimes your life can be turned

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. It means the world to me ;)._

 _Have a Happy New Year's Eve and a Happy New Year,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 4 – Sometimes your life can be turned upside down!**

 _ **Forest between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, August 1996**_

Tonks stumbled over her feet on the forest ground. Thankfully, Severus managed to catch her falling body and threw her in his arms. She felt a little dizzy from her fast apparition and was glad that he steadied her with his strong embrace. She inhaled his herbal masculine scent, smiled at him apologetically and addressed him in a playful tone. "Thanks, Severus. You're a life saver. Without you, I would have surely broken my neck in this beautiful forest. My apparation skills in uneven surroundings seem to be a little rusty." Severus chuckled at her joke, his deep baritone vibrating in his ribcage and sending shivers down her spine. He locked his onyx eyes with her indigo ones, embraced her tighter around her waist and mumbled into her face. "Well, I hope that you will train them, for I can't guarantee you that I will always be by your side. And as a bad-ass Auror, you should really be able to apparate into any environment. I would be devastated to hear from your death due to clumsiness." He smirked smugly at her, inhaled her strawberry and vanilla scent and basked in her embrace for another minute.

" _Merlin, I could fall easily for this vibrant, brave and strong woman. Her smiles and closeness warm my heart and I'm ecstatic that such a beautiful creature wants to be my friend. But I can't effort to be distracted by a sordid love affair. Although my heart screams at me to be happy, to forget my sorrows and hardships as a spy and kiss her already, my logical mind shouts at me to keep some distance between us, enjoy her friendship and don't fuck everything up with some half-cooked kiss. Thankfully, my mind is always able to control my emotions, for I couldn't bear to endanger her and lose her like Lily."_ Severus thought in an emotional voice, breaking their embrace and trying to dissimulate his feelings. To his luck, he managed to keep his longing for love and happiness at bay with his Occlumency skills and nudged Tonks playfully in the side.

"Come on, we should hurry up to get into my chambers. Though the sun is still burning down at us and illuminating everything in a bright light, we shouldn't waste our valuable time enjoying the landscape of Hogsmeade and dallying around. Let's see who can get to my chambers faster with magical means. I will even grant you a head start." He expressed in an excited voice, his obsidian eyes sparkling like stars in the night sky and his facial features softened slightly.

" _God, he looks ten years younger when he laughs and acts carefree. It would be easy to fall for this intelligent, brave and good-hearted man. His darkly handsome looks and mysterious aura intrigue me and it still baffles me that I managed to crack his protective walls to be his friends. But I shouldn't think romantically about Severus, although I can't deny that I dreamed about doing naughty things to him recently. He is my friend, taxed by the demands of Dumbledore and Voldemort and on his breaking point due to his sacrifices for the Light Side. While some happiness and love would undoubtedly do him good, I doubt that he would be open for a romance anyway. He is the guy how sacrifices his chance at happiness and love because he is scared of endangering his loved ones. Besides that, my twin pregnancy would certainly throw him off, for I can't imagine that he wants to play dad to some toddlers. No, Tonks. Stay in the friend zone with him before you mess everything up, although it's going to be hard."_ Tonks mumbled in a regretful voice inside her head.

She overrode her sad emotions with a beaming smile, locking her indigo eyes with his onyx ones and remarked in a humorous tone. "I bet that I can beat you every day, old man. I don't need a head start to wipe the floor with your rusty bones. I guess that you have managed to forget that I'm a wicked smart Auror who learned some nifty tricks during her training. On the count of three, we're going to try to get as fast as possible to your chambers." She nudged him playfully in the shoulder and counted down, "1, 2, 3. Go!", running at lightning speed through the forest with her Fast-Running Spell.

She passed trees and stones, looking out to not stumble and crack her head on the floor. She laughed deeply at her fast speed, for she could only see shadows and felt the warm summer air blowing through her red bob. She felt a little flutter in her stomach and hoped that she didn't stress out the embryos to much because she didn't want to risk their health. Dr. Rosenstein had explained to her that she could use all magical spells and means of transportations until her third trimester, although she needed to take care to not exhaust her magical energies and be attacked by a severe Stunning, Cutting or Blasting Curse. She would talk with the Auror Department Chief in two months about her pregnancy and ask for office duty.

She smirked victoriously on her crazy run, for she couldn't see Severus anywhere near her. _"I guess I'm faster after all. He will be so annoyed to see my victorious smile in mere minutes. We certainly should have bet on something, so that he owes something to me. Perhaps a delicious self-cooked dinner because he makes the best Spaghetti Bolognese. It's so much fun to rattle him up and overstep his privacy boundaries. If I told my sixteen-year-old self that my strict bullying Potions Professor is one of my closest friends at 23, she would surely accuse me of taking the mickey out of her. How much war and hours of training your skills can change your perspective,"_ she mused awed in her thoughts. She could see the towers of Hogwarts castle, increased her speed and raced to the entry gates of the castle.

To her utter disbelieve Severus Snape had managed to beat her on their race, for he floated down in front of her, laughing like crazy in her dumbfounded face and opening the gates for her. "How is it possible that you have arrived before me? You were never even close to me. And why does it seem like you apparated into Hogwarts? Only the Headmaster can apparate into Hogwarts. And last time I checked, the Headmaster was still Albus Dumbledore. How the hell did you manage to beam yourself into Hogwarts?" She asked in a fake enraged, curious voice. "And don't laugh at me, Severus. You only beat me by an inch with your Slytherin tricks." She stated in a staged annoyed tone, secretly suppressing her laughter at seeing him so carefree and relaxed.

Severus looked slightly alarmed at her, stopped his laughter and smirked smugly at her. "Tonks, don't overwork yourself and accuse me of cheating. I certainly can't apparate into Hogwarts, for I'm not Albus Dumbledore in disguise. You got your Hogwarts History right on this point. And you couldn't see me chasing after you, because I haven't taken your route. I guess you used a maximum Fast-Running Spell?" He questioned her with a raised eyebrow. Registering her nod, he went on to explain. "An excellent choice if you want to be faster on your two feet than your opponent. But it wouldn't help you very much if your opponent could fly without a broom. He would fly above your head in lightning speed and you wouldn't be able to beat him for his airline is shorter than your roadway. Hence, I beat you with my superior flying skills. I have mastered the Flying Spell ten years ago and improved it so much that I can fly as fast as someone on the fastest broom. Therefore, our race could only have one winner. The cunning Slytherin one." He exclaimed with a shark-like grin.

Tonks shoved him playfully on his chest. "You cunning snake. You never mentioned that you could fly as fast as the best Quidditch stars. That's awesome and so cool. I bet if your students knew that you could fly, they would certainly accuse you of being a vampire. Can you take me on a flying trip sometime soon? I love to feel the wind rushing through my hair and it would be even more fun if I could see the earth beneath me. But you should have really informed me of your abilities, for I would have never agreed to this little battle if I knew that I had zero chances of winning it. Next time, you will have to carry me on your arms and fly with me above the Hogsmeade forest to Hogwarts. Merlin, you're really some wicked smart and powerful bad-ass wizard." She exclaimed in a proud voice, with her indigo eyes sparkling in awe and her cherry lips opened slightly.

" _Hell, she looks so kissable right now that I would do anything to feel her soft luscious lips on mine. But I can't fuck up our friendship. Although her belief in me and my abilities nearly makes me jump out of joy. I would gladly take such a beautiful witch on my next flying trip,"_ he thought touched by her excitement for his magical abilities. "Thanks for your praise, Nymphadora. You're the only witch that can tolerate my company and boost my self-confidence. I will gladly take you on my next flying trip if you don't manage to distract me and let us crash down. If I had known that you love flying so much I would have certainly taken you on some flying trip over the landscape of Hogwarts ages ago. But let's not waste our time on idle chit-chat about my flying skills. We wanted to talk about the newest Charms research and you mentioned something of a secret you wanted to disclose to me. So we better hurry up to my chambers before Hagrid sees us and invites us to eat one of his stone cookies. I can't afford to lose one of my teeth now." He joked good-heartedly and signaled her with a hand gesture to walk onto the Hogwarts grounds.

"Send me a Patronus when you go on your next flying trip around the Hogwarts grounds. I will certainly floo as fast as possible into your chambers. Thank you so much for granting me this magical opportunity to see Hogwarts from above the sky. And I promise you to keep my clumsiness at bay and to not crash us down on the grounds. I love my life too much to die on a flying trip with the mysterious Severus Snape. And although I love Hagrid you're right. His cookies cost me two teeth already. So lead the way, Mr. Flying Superman." Tonks laughed sweetly at his annoyed face and followed him to the Dungeons.

Whenever she stepped onto the Hogwarts grounds again, she felt a sense of homecoming and happy teenaged memories assaulted her vision. Chasing with Charlie Weasley around the Quidditch Pitch, sharing her first butterbeer with Adrienne Fairchild and dancing like crazy with Xenia Green. Sometimes, she wished that her life would be as easy and carefree as it was in her teenaged days, though she could pass up the teenaged love drama, Hogwarts gossip mill and mood swings of her adolescence. She loved to visit Severus in his chambers because it helped her to forget the current dark times for some minutes and feel young again. Naturally, she also loved visiting Severus because she enjoyed his company, their academic debates, and his wicked humor. If she was totally honest with herself, she visited Severus because she liked him and sensed that he could use a friend. Due to her taxing missions for the Order and her exhausting Auror work, she also had very little time to talk to her friends and open up about her worries. She couldn't talk about her Order spying missions to Adrienne because she wasn't a member of the Order and couldn't know about them. Therefore, her friendship with Severus was one of the only ways to come to terms with her Metamorphogus missions and discuss Order business.

Lost in her thoughts, she walked mechanically down the corridors of Hogwarts, ignoring the whispers of the portraits and the gloomy darkness of the dungeons. Thankfully, the dungeons weren't ice-cold in the summer, so that she didn't freeze half to death. After some minutes of silent walking, they stood in front of a dark Ebony door with a twisted serpent handle. It was protected by a portrait of Salazar Slytherin who sneered at Tonks malicious and wanted to throw an insult at her, but Severus stopped him with a Silencing Spell and forced him to open his chambers to his password _Belladonna._ Tonks rolled her eyes at Salazar's behavior and inhaled the smell of Severus's chambers.

" _The fool Salazar hates seeing a Metamorphogus Half-blood sully the chambers of the Slytherin Head of House. I'm glad that Severus managed to shut him up, for I would have tried to blast him out of his portrait if he called me a "twisted Half-blood whore" once again. I love the herbal and sandalwood scent of his chambers because it smells exactly like Severus. I can't wait to shock him with my twin pregnancy news,"_ she mused in her thoughts, smiling kindly. Severus enflamed the torches in his entry hall and the fireplace in his living room with a flick of his hand.

They illuminated the Slytherin-green papered entry hall and living room and directed the focus on Severus's comfortable dark-grey leather couch and armchairs. If Tonks was totally honest, she would have never expected that Severus's chambers looked so modern. Hell, she had always imagined that the Head of Slytherin must live in a luxurious nightmare of gold, velvet, and marble. But instead of the marble floors, Severus's chambers were equipped with a warm oak parquet floor. His furniture wasn't some 1800s monstrosity in gold, cherrywood, and velvet, but classical functional oak cupboards, shelves, tables and chairs as well as leather furniture. The dominant figure in the living room was a huge bookshelf with hundreds of tomes on Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Dark Magic, Spellcrafting, Mind Magic and Muggle literature. His rooms were decorated with abstract art pieces and Slytherin-green spots of color.

She lounged herself on the dark-grey leather couch, stretching out her limbs and waiting for Severus to address her. Severus removed his black Wizarding robes, stored them onto a kitchen chair and graced her clad in a dark grey t-shirt and skinny black jeans. _"He certainly looks years younger and more modern with Muggle clothes. Though I can understand that he doesn't want to sport his Dark Mark in public. If most people already condemn him for his past and dark aura, I don't know how malicious they would get if they were faced with the Dark Mark on his milky-white left underarm every day,"_ she mumbled darkly inside her mind. He smirked slightly at her relaxed posture and uttered in an amused tone, "Make yourself at home, Nymphadora. I cast every breakable object away so that you can't hurt yourself. Do you want to have some Firewhiskey?" He asked in his velvet baritone.

Tonks shook her head. "I can't restrain myself from lounging me on your comfortable couch. I don't believe you that you aren't using a Cushioning Charm and Warming Spell on it, for it always feels so cozy and warm. And you don't have to treat me like a walking danger sign. I sometimes manage to not stumble upon everything, thank you very much. I originally thought that we would discuss our Spellcrafting work first, but I can't help myself but blurt out my secret to you. I can't drink any alcohol for the next nine months, for I'm pregnant with twins. I'm going to be a mum come May." She stopped and looked at his shocked face. "I know. Scold me already for my reckless decision to welcome two tiny babies as a single mum into a world full of darkness and war. But I couldn't help myself. You know how much I longed to be a mum and I couldn't wait any longer before it was too late. I used in-vitro fertilization and a sperm bank. Can you believe that my sperm donor has a 90% magical compatibility with me?" She babbled on in an excited voice.

Only as she heard his whiskey tumbler crashing to the ground, she stood up from the couch and faced his trembling back. "Severus, I know it must be a shock for you and I'm selfish for risking the lives of two innocent babies, but I hoped that you would understand me. You always encouraged me to make my dreams come true, and Dr. Rosenstein's methods were the only chance for me to get pregnant. Aren't you happy for me? You're trembling like a leaf. Did you endure a Cruciatus session yesterday?" She asked in an empathetic voice, touching his trembling shoulder blades gently. As if her touch had burned him, Severus turned around and looked at her with panicked onyx eyes. _"He looks as if he has seen some Inferi,"_ Tonks thought frightened.

"You don't understand, Nymphadora. The Dark Lord didn't put me under a Cruciatus session on my last meeting and I'm not suffering from some aftereffects of nerve damage. And although your twin pregnancy is foolish in a time of war, I would never condemn you for it. I'm happy that your dream of becoming a mum comes true. And you will undoubtedly have your hands full with twins. But I'm curious to know who your sperm donor is. It's very rare to meet someone who shares a 90% compatibility with your magical signature. What do you know about your sperm donor?" He asked in a determined tone that stroke Tonks as odd.

"Well, I don't know much about him. You only get a number and a sheet with basic information. He is a Half-blood in his thirties with black hair and dark-brown eyes who works in the education sector, loves Muggle literature, sketching, and Potions. I doubt that I will find him with his ID 5799." She answered in a regretful tone, frightened by his widened obsidian eyes and labored breathing. "Severus, what is wrong with you? Do you have a seizure?" She questioned frantically, embracing him tightly to lessen his pain. He mumbled "It can't be, it can't be, it can't be" into her ear and gazed at her still flat abdomen in wonder. Noticing her distressed state, he composed himself and embraced her closely around her waist. "I'm physically okay, Nymphadora. But my emotions are on overdrive right now. You turned my life upside down with your news. I'm sperm donor 5799." He uttered in a dazed voice, locking indigo eyes with dark-brown ones.


	6. 5 - Sometimes there is a light in a pool

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _another update for you to enjoy. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. You truly are amazing._

 _Have a happy and healthy 2019,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 5 – Sometimes there is a light in a pool of darkness!**

 _ **Severus's chambers, Hogwarts, August 1996**_

Nymphadora Tonks eyes widened in shock. _"Severus is my sperm donor? He is going to be the daddy of my twins? And he shares a 90% compatibility with my magical signature? We're basically soulmates for fuck's sake. Merlin, what will happen now? Will he want to get involved in the pregnancy and our babies' lives? And could this magical twin pregnancy possibly enflame a love between us? I'm attracted to him, enjoy his company and love his dry wit, so I would be definitely open for a relationship with him. Perhaps, my dream of having children with the love of my life will come true after all. But hell, our twins will endanger him even more in the ranks of the Death Eaters. Nobody can know that he is my twins' daddy, for my crazy aunt would certainly brand him a traitor and torture him to death for impregnating her Metamorphogus niece, Auror and Order member, Nymphadora Tonks. We will have to keep it secret,"_ she thought overwhelmed by her emotions of joy, hope, despair, and fear.

She composed her wildly beating heart, clung to his strong arms and asked in a frantic voice. "How is this possible, Severus? You never mentioned that you longed to have kids and donated your sperm to a sperm bank. Although you encouraged me to live out my dreams, you complain regularly about your stupid and foolish dunderheaded students and how much you despise love-crazy teenagers. How does this fit in with being sperm donor 5799? And if you really are my twins' daddy, we will have to keep it secret. I can't bear to lose you." She buried her head into his chest and clawed her nails into his t-shirt.

Severus uttered in a worried tone, "Calm yourself down, Nymphadora. I can only imagine what a shock it must be for you to know that your Dungeon Bat Ex-Potions-Teacher is the dad of your twins. But you have to take some deep breaths, calm down your heartbeat and clear your mind of your fears, for your distressed state can't be healthy for our babies. I know that I have never confessed to you that I want children or have donated my sperm to a sperm bank and that I don't look like a children-loving man with daddy-of-the-year qualities. Hell, if you told my twenty-five-year-old self that I donated my sperm to pass on my genes and enable someone to have happy children, he would have certainly hexed you into oblivion and branded you a liar because I never wanted to bequeath my wretched Snape genes on anyone.

"But I realized that my chances of dying in this war are fairly high and I wanted to leave something behind of me on this earth. And if I could help a couple with fertility issues or a single woman who longed to be a mum by donating my sperm, I wanted to do it. Hence, I registered into the sperm bank of St. Mungo's some months ago, filled out my basic information sheet with my ID 5799 after my magical signature got scanned and my sperm quality got tested and donated some vials of my sperm that should only be used for one successful in-vitro fertilization and pregnancy. Perhaps this good deed, helping in the creation of an innocent being, could redeem me for my past atrocities somehow. And although I never thought that I would have the chance to get to know my children, I promise you my support during your pregnancy. If you allow it, I want to be a part of our twins' lives and be the best dad possible to them, though we need to keep everything strictly secret. No one can know. Not even Dumbledore or the Order." He looked her deeply in her lovely indigo eyes and pleaded silently with her to let him be a part of their twins' lives.

" _Merlin, although I never dreamed of being a hands-on-dad, I can't help myself but wish that Nymphadora lets me in in her and our babies' lives. Knowing that she carries my twins and plans to parent them alone, juggling the duties of an Auror and Order member in the escalating war, fills me with admiration and fears. Admiration, for she is such a strong vibrant woman with a positive outlook on life and magically extraordinary powers. Fears, for she will be vulnerable as a pregnant woman and possibly exhaust herself for the Light Side. I want to help her, go through the challenges of pregnancy and parenthood together with her and protect her and our twins from the horrors of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters._

 _"Although our twins are currently some tiny embryos and her risk of miscarrying them is still high, I know that they will develop themselves into beautiful magical powerful and healthy babies. I can't wait to meet them in May and hope that they have inherited the looks of their beautiful mum, for I don't want to burden any child with my hooked nose. If they are extremely lucky, they will also inherit Nymphadora's Metamorphogus' abilities and can change their looks at their will. This would be wicked,"_ he smiled slightly at this thought, envisioning a boy with green hair and a girl with lavender eyes.

Tonks caressed his cheek with a trembling hand and transferred a warmth into his heart with an honest smile. She exclaimed in a soft voice, "Severus, you're one of my best friends, I trust you with my life and want to see you happy. I admire you for your relentless fight against Voldemort, your brave spying work and your brilliant brain. I could not have asked for a better dad for my twins. If you want to be a part of our children's lives, I would love to co-parent them with you. I realize that my pregnancy could be difficult and that I could use the support of a close friend who holds back my hair when I vomit, buys me Oreos when I crave them or massages my swollen feet when they hurt. I'm terrified of the birth and would be overjoyed if you could hold my hand in the delivery room. I would love to share the experience of hearing their first heartbeats, feeling their first kicks and seeing their first bursts of accidental magic with you, but you have to promise me that you will do anything to survive this war.

"You can't die on us. Though I never imagined that I would co-parent my children with their biological dad, the knowledge that I could take care of them and love them with my magical soulmate blows my mind. You might remember from my school days that I never believed in fate, prophecies or divination. But even I know that it is extremely rare to encounter a person that shares 90% of your magical energies. Hell, it's like winning the lottery. I will do anything to ensure that we survive this war, check out our connection and be amazing parents to our twins. We will win this war, defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters and see our children grow up into unique lovely and troublesome human beings. You have to believe in it, Severus. And I know that you will be an amazing dad four our children, even if we have to keep it secret till Voldemort is dead." She embraced him tightly, shed some happy tears and breathed in his sandalwood scent.

Severus breathed in her vanilla and strawberry scent, enclosed her tightly into his arms and whispered in an emotional voice. "You don't know how much this means to me, Nymphadora. I will try my best to survive this wretched war, protect you and our babies and be the best dad that I can be. Your belief in me, my abilities and the strength of our Light Side boost my self-confidence and my efforts to win this war. We will defeat Voldemort and be a happy family, though I don't know if you should really embark on a romance with me. I'm not an easy man, speaking about my emotions and past regrets is difficult to me and if I'm totally honest I have never been in a healthy relationship with any woman. My Occlumency shields help me to lie in the Dark Lord's face and sabotage his evil plans, but they also enable me to cut my feelings out and focus on my role in the war – being a valuable pawn in Dumbledore's plans. I will do anything that he orders me to do, for he rescued me from a life sentence in Azkaban and hired me as his Potions Master. Hogwarts is my home and I will do anything to protect it and its students.

"But your pregnancy news change the ranking of my priorities. You and our twins are my number one priority, Nymphadora. I will do anything to protect you and support you during your pregnancy. Merlin, I will gladly massage your swollen ankles and buy every food that you crave if it means that I will be able to hear our twins' heartbeats, feel their magical energies and their first kicks. I want to be a part of their lives, change their diapers, sing them to sleep and teach them everything about Potions. I only hope that they inherit your beauty looks, for I wouldn't wish my hooked nose on my worst enemy. If we are extremely lucky, they will even share your Metamorphogus abilities.

"Hell, you're my best friend, Nymphadora. I thought that I would never have such a fiery loyal, recklessly brave and highly intelligent female friend. I don't know how you handle my bad temper, moody nature and sarcastic humor, but I love spending my time with you. Knowing that you are my magical match, share 90% of my magical signature, enflames a new hope in me. A hope to be happy, live a life in love, health, and peace and have a happy family at home." He paused there and kissed her gently on her forehead. "I don't know how I deserve to have this second chance. I want to test out this magical connection between us too. Although I realize that I'm selfish by trying to win the heart of such a beautiful, vibrant and bubbly young witch and darken her light with my darkness, I can't help myself but act on my hopes, desires, and dreams.

"I couldn't have wished for a better mum for our twins. I know that you love them with every fiber of your heart, long to smother them with your love, care, and protection and will parent them into happy, wonderful children. Though I realize that you would die for them, you have to promise me one thing – never put your life in danger, for I also couldn't face losing you. You will have to put the twins' and your safety first, even if it means looking on when the Order fights the Dark Lord and his followers. Please, you have to promise me this, Nymphadora." He pleaded with puppy onyx eyes.

Tonks couldn't stop herself from kissing him gently on his lips. While their kiss only lasted some seconds, she couldn't help but want to feel the pressure of his warm soft lips against hers again. She vowed to explore his kissing technique later with him, for she wanted to feel desired and wanted. Knowing that such a powerful mysterious darkly handsome wizard wanted to embark on a romance with her and be the co-parent of their kids, made her feel powerful and happy. She couldn't wait to go on this challenging journey with him and vowed to always be his friend.

She beamed at his stunned face and whispered sexily in his ear, "You can't imagine how much your protective streak and your vow to be the best dad to our twins and test out our connection turns me on. I promise you to always put my safety and the safety of our twins first, but I won't step on the sidelines and leave the Order alone in their fight. I will heighten my efforts in creating Protective Wards and Defense Spells with you and continue my spying work within the lower ranked Death Eaters as well as my Auror work until my second trimester. I have talked with Dr. Rosenstein that it is entirely safe to go on my spying trips until my second trimester, for my magical signature protects our twins and I'm also taking Protection and Pre-Natal Potions. Besides that, our high magical compatibility lowers the chance of a miscarriage to 5%. And I can only imagine that you have already worked out some Potion recipes that will keep us even safer.

"And I would love to have a son with your coal black hair or a girl with your sparkling onyx eyes because I love these features about you. Merlin, even your Roman nose gives your face character. I wouldn't mind if our son inherited it. I'm drawn to your darkly handsome looks, and I can only imagine that our son would be chased by girls with our combined looks. Hell, it would be so cool if our little munchkins inherited my Metamorphogus skills for I could teach them everything about it and we could shoot really awesome family photos. Dr. Rosenstein already disclosed to me that our children will be magical because she could detect some magical energies in the embryos.

"I'm overjoyed to hear that we will co-parent our kids together and I know that you will be the most amazing dad. I'm also ecstatic that you are willing to test our magical connection out, for I enjoy spending time with you, love you as my friend and I'm on the way of falling for you. Although your sarcastic jabs and fiery temper can sometimes be hard to handle, I know that you have a good heart and use your prickly nature to protect yourself from rejection, hurt and despair. I vow to you that I'll always be your friend, your shoulder to cry on and your fiercest defender. You gifted me with these beautiful babies and I can't wait to meet them and love them with you.

"Please, don't talk ill about you in my presence again, for I see your true self. And you are truly beautiful on your inside and outside. Regardless of your past actions, your ill-advised decision to join the Death Eaters and the evil deeds you need to commit as our spy, I will always see your beautiful soul. You redeem your past actions with your spying work, strategic efforts to train our forces and useful brewing and inventing activity to gain us an advantage. Merlin, you even endure Voldemort's tortures without breaking down and disclosing our secrets. You are such a strong brave wizard and I can't wait to call you mine, Severus."

She confessed in a soft voice, indigo eyes beaming and locking themselves with his obsidian ones. Severus couldn't stop himself from crashing his pale lips to her pink ones. _"Merlin, her lips are so soft and delicate, I can't wait to taste her flavor on my tongue. I would have never guessed that I could love someone again. But falling for this beautiful, energetic and bad-ass witch is unstoppable like a raging wildfire. I will have to be honest with her and disclose my promise to Albus if I want to have a chance with her. Feeling the warmth of her lips, basking in her vanilla and strawberry scent and seeing myself with her eyes, I feel like a new man who can achieve anything that he wishes for. Nymphadora Tonks' kisses and love can surely rescue the darkest soul from succumbing to his despair."_


	7. 6 – Sometimes kisses can brighten up you

_Author's note:_

 _Dear readers,_

 _another update for you to enjoy. I'm very sorry for the long delay, but writer's block and RL got to me. I hope that I'll be able to update weekly from now on. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or following my story. It makes my day ;)._

 _Have a nice Sunday,_

 _Vani12_

 **Chapter 6 – Sometimes kisses can brighten up your life!**

 _ **Severus's chambers, Hogwarts, August 1996**_

Tonks's heart beat wildly in her chest. She clung desperately to the firm back of Severus Snape, a sensual satisfied moan escaped her mouth. She couldn't believe how intoxicating his kisses felt. He was such a passionate, considerate kisser with an awesome kissing technic. He didn't plunder her mouth like a hormone-crazy, horny teenager or pressed firm dominating kisses on her lips like a possessive tyrant. Instead, he kissed every centimeter of her lips sweetly and slowly as if he wanted to map out her lips for further studies. His right hand caressed her dark red bob lovingly and his left hand played with the herm of her t-shirt. She could hear his heartbeat hammering against his breast and breathe in his spicy herbal and sandalwood scent. Merlin, if someone would have told her teenaged self that her Potions Professor was such an amazing kisser, she would have flung herself at him. Feeling him kiss the corner of her mouth softly, grace her ribcage with featherlight touches and stroke her straight hair lightly, she felt a need inside of her to deepen their kiss, to taste his essence on her tongue and leave marks on his skin.

Driven by her desires, Tonks slipped her tongue inside of Severus's mouth and stroked his tongue urgently. She knew that it probably wasn't such a good idea to come on too strong on Severus, for he had obviously trust and relationship issues. But they were going to be parents of twins in a time of war. They couldn't afford to lose any time by tip-toeing around each other. She would show him that he deserved to love and be loved in return. And she wouldn't slow things down for the benefit of his self-confidence issues and his protective hero complex. He had confessed to her that he was attracted to her, wanted to raise their twins together and embark on a romance with her. She would encourage his desires and go all in and judging by his wicked tongue that he was plunging into her mouth, he had also decided to throw his self-doubts in the wind and kiss her senseless today. Tasting his mint and dark chocolate taste, Tonks moaned into his kisses. She felt like she would burst into flames any minute, for her skin felt on fire, her magical energies buzzed intoxicatingly and her lungs were out of breath.

She needed to inhale some oxygen to not pass out on her newfound lover mid-kiss, hence she regretfully broke their heated kisses, caressed his smooth cheek gently and gazed lustfully into his dilated obsidian eyes. She smiled dreamily at him, took a deep breath and exclaimed in a husky voice, "Damn, Severus. You clearly know how to kiss a witch senseless and leave her wanting for more. If I had known that you would be such a good kisser, I would have kissed you ages ago. Your obsidian eyes look sexy as hell with a lustful gleam in them. I can't fathom that you are my magical soul-mate, father-to-be of my twins and my newly found lover. It's like my eighteen-years-old self is waking up in her dream world."

Tonks laughed good-naturedly at Severus's confused expression and raised eyebrow. "Don't look so dumbfounded, Mr. Snarky. You must have noticed that I had a crush on you in my final year during our private tutoring sessions." Seeing his pink face and his incredulous look, she realized that Severus was totally blindsided by her confession and seemed lost in thoughts. _"Well, this is embarrassing and awkward, Tonks. Why can't you keep your mouth shut? He is probably now replaying every tutor session in his mind to scan them for your hidden glances and pink blushes. You are totally creeping him out. Perhaps, he won't take your love declarations seriously now and label everything under the headline "schoolgirl crush". You need to do something before he closes himself off,"_ a panicked voice screamed inside of her mind.

Before she could compose a plan of action, a flustered Tonks blurted out, "I'm sorry if I'm creeping you out, Severus. You have to believe me that my feelings for you are more than the silly schoolgirl crush of my youth. Sure, I will admit to you that I wanted to kiss you since my seventh year and had some wet dreams about you after some of our Occlumency sessions years later, but I only started to have deep feelings for you in the last couple of months. During our private talks and chats about new ways to upgrade our spy work and defeat Voldemort, I have realized that I love spending time with you, think about you every day and am attracted to your personality as well as your looks. I promise you that my feelings aren't some short-lived teenaged girl's infatuation. I know that we can find love with each other."

She gazed unsure at his blank face, intertwined their fingers and went on in a shy voice, "I know that you are too professional to notice any crush of your students. If I'm totally honest although my eighteen-years-old self would have been overjoyed if her Potions Master granted her some kisses, I'm relieved that you see your students strictly as students and don't fall for their attempts of seducing you. It only proves that you are an awesome teacher and a good man, albeit I would bet my mum's precious best fire whiskey on it that many witches tried to tempt you with some dirty tricks. Merlin, in my most desperate times I also cut my skirt a few inches shorter or morphed my eye color into a seductive honey-brown. And I must say that it is a miracle that you with your extraordinary observation skills and your natural gut feeling didn't figure me out. Damn, you must really think that I'm a hormone-driven fool ..."

Tonks's rumblings were cut off by Severus's passionate kiss. He caressed her back gently and whispered into her ear, "Nymphadora, please stop your self-flagellation. I'm flattered that you had a schoolgirl crush on me. But I love even more that you have deeper feelings for me now. Don't get me wrong, you are a stunning woman now and I realize that you must have been a stunning teenager, but I see my students strictly as students and I haven't noticed that you were hot for me at Hogwarts. Hell, with my hooked nose, greasy hair and bullying teacher personality I wouldn't label myself as a teenaged witch's dream come true. I have never been chased by girls who wanted to get into my pants. If I'm totally honest with you, I had an unrequited teenage love affair, but no serious relationships, only one-night stands, and short-lived flings till now. I guess we will figure this relationship thing out together."

He pecked her on the cheek and chuckled in an amused voice, "And I don't write you off as a hormone-driven fool, although I bet that I'll curse your hormones in the coming months, for our children will definitely wreak havoc inside your body. And you look adorable while you are rambling like this. Like a beautiful fairy that lost her navigation system." Tonks nudged him in the side for this jab and embraced him tightly. "We will figure everything out together and you don't need to be embarrassed about your past crush on me. Although I know that I have difficulties with talking about my emotions and trusting other humans, I promise you to always see the good in you, take your feelings into account and battle my mistrusting nature. I expect that you will be totally honest with me, lash out at me when I enrage you and kiss me senseless when I make you happy, and I will try to be open with you. You have gifted me this miraculous opportunity of living out a life full of love, happiness, and family. And despite the spiraling war and my complicated role in it, I want to make the best out of this new chance." Severus uttered in an emotional voice.

Tonks gazed into his warm obsidian eyes gratefully, kissed him on the lips softly and replied with a smile on her lips. "I promise you to always be honest with you and put my safety and our children's safety first. Hell, you won't have issues to interpret my moods, for I will voice my anger as well as joy quite loudly. I will support you in your spying work, always take your side and believe in the good of your heart. I will discourage your self-doubts, stop your self-flagellation and be your partner in crime. I can't believe that I have the chance to raise children with my magical soul-mate. And I won't let the nose-less deranged maniac Voldemort and his band of sadistic misfits destroy my happiness, Severus. We will be this close-knitted happy family in secret till Voldemort is defeated. And after our victory, I will climb on top of the Astronomy tower and give you the sappiest love declaration ever." Nymphadora mumbled with happy tears in her eyes, basking in his warmth and pulling strength out of their close bond.

After some minutes of embracing each other, Severus guided Nymphadora back on his comfy couch and lounged himself, with her head resting on his chest, on it. Despite the wholeness and happiness, he was feeling in this moment, it dawned on him in the back of his mind that he needed to confess the details of his Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa and his impending role in Dumbledore's death to her. He knew that her Occlumency shields were strong enough to keep his secrets and that she would be a huge comfort on his dark path. But he also realized that his role in Dumbledore's chess game would enrage her, let her question Dumbledore's qualities as the leader of the Light Side and fear for his life and emotional wellbeing. Looking deep into her indigo eyes, seeing the love and trust in them, he felt that he needed to be honest with her now.

Hence, he took a deep breath and stated in a calm voice, "Nymphadora, please promise me to not get too upset about my next confession. I know that we should probably talk about how we are going to hide my paternity of our twins from the Order, Dumbledore, the Dark Lord, and the Death Eaters or how we are going to inform your parents about my future role in your life, but I need to discuss a troubling and life-changing matter with you first. You are definitely not going to like it and be barking mad about it, but please keep in mind to not stress yourself out and that I'm a capable strong wizard." He looked into Tonks alert indigo eyes, noticing her trust and intrigue, and spoke in a softer voice. "You are aware that I took an Unbreakable Vow with your aunt Narcissa to protect your cousin, my godson Draco, and help him complete a mission for the Dark Lord. In front of the Order, I stated that I don't know what Draco's mission entails. That was a lie. The Dark Lord has tasked him with the mission to kill Albus Dumbledore. And I need to avada him at the end of the next school year, for Draco won't be able to carry out this deed. He has a too gentle soul to be a cold-blooded murderer, despite his arrogant dark wizard act."

Severus took in her shocked face and felt the livid outbreak in the air that would undoubtedly follow if he didn't carry on with his explanation. "I realize that you are probably torn between your emotions right now. On the one hand, you know that I'm a spy on the Order's side who risks his life to defeat the Dark Lord. On the other hand, you ask yourself how killing Albus Dumbledore will help the Order and some devilish voice is currently whispering into your ear that I might be a traitor after all. You must believe me that I would never betray the Order and help this maniac win. Albus Dumbledore is slowly, painfully dying from a dark curse that he has caught this summer. He expects that I will kill him instead of Draco at the end of the next school year, for I know that it will be a mercy killing and spare Draco's soul. He basically calls it a medically assisted suicide that will enable me to play the Dark Lord's right hand while working undercover for the Order. He says that it won't rip my soul to kill a dying old man and save him from a painful death." Severus mumbled in a bitter tone, breaking his eye contact with the mother of his children and gazing in the emptiness of his chambers.

He couldn't risk a look into her eyes and see the despair, pity, and outrage in them. Tonks embraced him tighter, climbed onto his lap and urged him with a gentle touch of her fingers on his chin to look into her eyes. When his obsidian eyes met her indigo ones, he was flooded with her mixed emotions of anger, empathy, and determination. She said in a strong, steady voice, "I haven't doubted for a minute that you are on our side, Severus. You are such a strong, good-hearted, gentle and brave wizard and fight relentlessly for our victory that you could never betray us and be one of Voldemort's most trusted soldiers. A wizard that would rat out his friends, torture, kill and maim innocents for the call of power, wealth and fame or believe in a racist inhumane ideology couldn't be my magical soul-mate. I could hex Albus Dumbledore into oblivion right now, for I can't fathom how he can demand such an act from you. He is your mentor, almost like a father to you, how can't he see that he demands too much by ordering you to kill him?

"Merlin, sometimes I really think that we are all exchangeable pawns for the great chess player Albus Dumbledore in his game of power. I won't let this mercy killing split your soul and drive you into insanity. I will be there for your angry lash-outs at Albus, your desperate cries for salvation and your self-flagellation sessions, but I will also be there to remember you of your beautiful gentle soul, your amazing skills in the fight against the Death Eaters and the happiness, joy and love you bring into the lives of me and our twins. I won't let this act break you and rob the Order of one of their most powerful assets in the fight against Voldemort. Your secrets are safe with me. I will defend you against anyone and we will work out a plan on how to destroy the Death Eaters from within while keeping you save from the Order. Thank you for your honesty. It shows me how much I mean to you." She kissed him gently on the lips and whispered in his ear that everything is going to be all right.


End file.
